Oh Jesus Christ Almighty she (Prisoner state put in my cell to antagonize) tried nearly everything the last night of that eleven day false incarceration. Except at the time I had no idea when I would be released or if I would be. In fact I didnt even know why I was there.
First thing she said
‘What are you? A boy or a girl?’
Girls aren’t ‘housed’ with men
Girl I said without affect
‘I can’t stand when people don’t brush their teeth, it’s disgusting’ I brushed mine twice a day
‘You stink!’ I had just showered. No more than anyone with trauma sweat
‘I can’t stand people who don’t wash their hands before peeling an egg. It’s beyond disgusting’ i hadn’t even peeled my egg. The smell made me sick.
Finally, pacing, numb to the assault, as though I really wasn’t where I shouldn’t have been I said without thought or feeling
‘You know what I can’t stand? People who don’t shut up. Because then I have to shut them up myself’
I looked at her squarely. There was finally a glint of respect. I wonder if she still would have respected me if she had known I hadn’t touched anybody in my life. How fuck Up is it, what we respect. And what we don’t. I will always defend myself. But so far, it’s just been ‘by word of mouth’